The Dissociated Survivor’s Twitter ASKS:

/The Dissociated Survivor’s Twitter ASKS:
The Dissociated Survivor’s Twitter ASKS:2017-02-19T23:53:29+00:00

Survivorsred pencil drawing of christmas tree Tisk the Season!

Christmas is almost upon us and I would like to acknowledge those who suffer as others rejoice. Survivors of child abuse have a lot to grieve over at this time of the year. For example, maybe it’s the loss of family tradition. This may have been the one time of the year it was OK as a child,  or maybe its  the lack of contact with people forcing survivors to suffer alone, forever saying, they’re great when clearly they’re not. Out of all the holidays, this is the most family oriented time. Even on TV, commercials of long lost family members meeting up, air at this time of the year. It’s all around us and for that reason, we need not embrace it, but instead we can relax into the days as we go deeper into the season. This means feeling what you are feeling in the moment, doing what you need to do for yourself in the moment and not letting anyone try to push you into something you don’t want to do. If we can do this, surely, it truly will be OK.

 

 

A long and lonely highway like healing from childhood abuse

Friends and Childhood Abuse

How many friends have walked with you on the road to healing? Did you even have one? Have you fought each victory yourself, hoping one day to trust enough to let another in if you ever were to find that other? I hope you know that you are not alone anymore. No matter what you are held by many survivors, each battling their own personal hell, yet so much alike. Stick by us, we’ll care for you until you are able to do it yourself. (well, even then we may just share it with you :))

ThePix of Jian Ghomeshi on Kevin Donovan book jacket, "Secret Life" Time has Come!

I see from Amazon that, Secret Life: The Jian Ghomeshi Investigation, by Toronto Star investigative reporter Kevin Donovan, is slanted for release October 4, 2016.

So, I ask again: Is this an opportunity to gain monetary support at the expense of survivors of sexual assault? Is this fair to the survivors of Jian Ghomeshi?

What do you think? Email me, LisaBri, at thedissociatedsurvivor and with your permission I will post your email.

 

After All, It Was Only a Matter of Time!

If the rumor is correct, a new book about Jian Ghomeshi will be hitting the shelves. This, according to the star.com, a Toronto Star the-dissociated-survivor's-twitter-asks-jian-ghomeshi-bookNewspaper, will occur this fall in October. Secret Life: The Jian Ghomeshi Investigation written by Kevin Donovan promises to show many ‘behind-the-scenes’ investigation which he, and Jesse Brown claim will show ‘people…the enormity of the allegations against him.’

Is this an opportunity to gain monetary support at the expense of survivors of sexual assault? Is this fair to the survivors of Jian Ghomeshi?

What do you think? Email me, LisaBri, at thedissociatedsurvivor and with your permission I will post your email.

April 15, 2016

University Rape…Judge's gavel coming down

I reported on the local university of the women who have been sexually assaulted on campus and off campus. A suspect was in custody, however, the Crown council’s decision last week to let him go due to insufficient evidence is a hard pill to swallow. We want the abuser to be caught and punished, though, there are a few other things I would like to do to him as well.

I am getting so sick of the number of attacks that are happening! Do we live in a civilized society, or not? Are we animals or humans? I am so tired of reading about the ‘latest’ every single day, usually more than once.

Let’s look at some statistics:

  • 1 in 4 women in North America will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime.
  • 17% of all girls under 16 have experienced some form of incest.
  • 15% of all boys under 16 have experienced some form of incest.
  • 83% of disabled women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime.
  • 1-2% of ‘date rape’ are reported to the police

This is astonishing! And despicable! How can we as a society live in a world where such high numbers of our population are abused. And on top of it, we all know that the vast majority of women assaulted do not report or disclose, so how accurate are these figures. They are quite likely much higher.

Our women students speak out in an article regarding their assaults and rape closet. You won’t be the same afterwards.

April 10, 2016

The Unnamed University Attacker- Is He Guilty?University of Victoria's Logo

Last time I reported on Jian Ghomeshi. The point I wanted readers to take away was the injustice of the victim as the one on trial and not the accuser.

This week, our accuser doesn’t even make it to the judge. Its in my own backyard at or near the local university where 4 women from 2013 have been attacked.

The crown in this case determined the evidence the police have against this person will never warrant a conviction. Justice must be served. And sometimes for this to happen, we need to step back and start at the beginning.

If there is one thing I can be sure of, its our Mounties ‘always’ get their man.

March 24 2016

Picture of Jian Ghomeshi

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Jian Ghomeshi- Is He Guilty? Probably- most will admit. But he got off because once again the victim was on trial not the abuser!

Every time I follow a sexual assault case, I am astounded that it is the victim who is on trial and not the abuser.

With the advances we have made in technology, science and medicine—going beyond anything we could ever had imagined, why is it the victim who is made to defend herself while the abuser sits back, a witness to her pain and humiliation, once again.

The survivors withheld information. Ok. Reported details changed. Ok. The judge feels he is in a position to determine when, what and how a victim of sexual assault recalls information, while “on trial” for reporting such an act.

As a person who has faced the police video and audio report and the government inquisition, I can only begin to imagine the courage and terror it takes to confront her abuser. Wrapped in these feelings is the driving force to see justice served at the cost of our dignity.

CBC News in Toronto, has quoted Ghomeshi as saying, “[he] will take time to ‘reflect and move forward’ following his acquittal.”

I wonder if his victims turned survivors will be doing the same. Or will they tear themselves apart even further than the court did, and blame themselves for not presenting to society the sexual assault by Jian Ghomeshi, in a way deemed by the courts. Raped by the abuser. Raped by the courts.

December 31 2015

My system and I  want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to send all my very best for a safe and healing 2016!

We’re all at different corners of the globe, yet tonight, I feel all survivors close to my heart. I feel those still lost and hurt and wonder if this coming year will bring some healing. Or will there be more pain and disappointment? Will many still struggle financially to pay for therapies and basic needs, unable to work?
Will friends understand we don’t always want advice, but instead the gift of an nonjudgmental ear for our long, silenced words. A simple smile and hug, sometimes the only non-sexual contact we’ve ever had, is more healing than any monetary gift.
Will our abusers be held accountable? Or does it even matter? Do we want to keep expending energy on something we will probably never get?
My parents died defending their view I was the troublemaker, in one case, my father testified “she came to me and touched me as a child, it was her fault.”
I think this mentality is sad, and I am unwilling to give it any of my power.
Truly, isn’t it better for all of us to live a healthy life?